belated birthday

I'm about three days late with this post, but I'm barely home anymore and I'm just getting around to catching up on e-mail/blogging/browsing, etc. My dearest dad celebrated his birthday at the hospital this year. While that doesn't sound like the most appealing thing in the world, we tried to make the best of it. He still can't have solid food, so we brought Italian Ice to replace the chocolate cake he would have much preferred. I think it did the trick. We decorated a bit with balloons and pictures, and while we had to force the party hat on him, he agreed to wear it for a picture. His spirits are still high, but there's no word on how long he'll be in the hospital. It seems as though no one knows exactly what's wrong with him, and that's scary because he's got a high fever and his blood pressure is all over the place. I'm amazed at how confusing everything is when it comes to a paralyzed patient. No one seems to know for sure the proper way to handle things, no matter how basic, and yet we have to put our trust and faith in strangers who (should) know what they're doing. He still may need a second surgery, and I think that's the hardest part because it's this dreaded thing just looming off in the distance. Please continue to keep us in your thoughts and prayers.

So happy birthday, Dad! I hope you're feeling better soon, or at least well enough to go home. Your strength amazes me and I hope you know how much you mean to me and to all of us!

As for me, well, how I'm feeling doesn't really matter right now. People keep asking me how I'm doing. I'm tired and worried and hopeful and grateful all at the same time. It's a hard thing to swallow, this second long stint in the hospital. Wait and see isn't a game I play well, but we're hanging in there.