that time of year

We were dumped on by the most beautiful snow today. It's still snowing, actually. It's so pretty, as the first real snow of the year usually is. I was out and about today when it started coming down and my main focus was to get home, wait for the time when I absolutely had to shovel, and when that was done I planned to sit down in front of the window and watch the shimmery flakes cover the crispy brown that autumn left behind. Instead, though, my mind is plagued by the headlines of today's news.

A 17 year old Shaker student was traveling down the I-90 ramp that leads to I-787 (two of the main highways in this area) and for whatever reason, he pulled his car over to the shoulder of the road, got out, and jumped to his death on the highway below. I feel sick to my stomach. My eyes well up whenever I think about his family...what his mother must be feeling right about now. I don't know him, in fact his name hasn't been released yet, but I've had a few friends die at a very young age and it never gets any easier to accept, no matter how common it might be.

I'm both shocked and not surprised at the same time over the amount of crime/murder/suicide that occurs at this time of year. When so many people are filled with excitement and joy during the holiday season, it's easy to forget about those who are overwhelmingly depressed and filled with sadness during the winter months. Being someone who has suffered from depression for most of my life, I know how low a person can feel. So low that nothing, not even love, support or holiday merriment can ever pull you out.

I can't help but feel anything but sadness today.

Something about the monotony of shoveling the same mounds of snow over and over again seems to help...keeps me focused on other things. And for that, I'm thankful.